Spilling the Tea:
The Problematics and Benefits of Gossip
Whenever I’m having a conversation with a friend and I run out of things to say, I catch myself reaching for the word “Girl” followed by “You won’t believe what I just heard.” I’ve seemingly built a habit of gossiping whenever I run out of things to say. Interestingly, this isn’t anything new – gossip has been a part of not only our social routine, but also our lives, for as long as we have existed. Even though my intention when gossiping is never malicious, I still feel ashamed. This leads me to wonder: Is there more to gossiping than just spreading possibly false rumors, or is gossiping just a hurtful habit we all partake in?
To answer this question, we should first define exactly what gossip is, although that might not be so simple. A quick google search for “gossip definition” will give us a lot of different and apparently biased answers. While Dictionary.com offers a more general definition, stating that “[Gossip is] idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others,”1 the Cambridge Dictionary gives a more negatively connotated definition: “[Gossip is] conversation or reports about other people’s private lives that might be unkind, disapproving or not true.”2 So, it’s evident that it is even difficult to define gossip without first defining its epistemic role, or in simple terms, without first determining it’s validity as a method of gaining knowledge.
A look into the etymology of the word gossip will help us understand where gossip comes from and why it’s important. The word gossip is generally accepted to have come from the Old English godsibb “godparent” (from God + sibb “relative”). This definition was later broadened to any friend, acquaintance, or neighbor, and specifically to women friends invited to attend a birth. Even later it was further extended to anyone engaging in familiar or idle talk, as we know it today.3 From this we can tell that gossip is intertwined with social in-groups. By gossiping with our chosen circle of people, not only do we define exactly which of our friends we feel comfortable enough to share intimate information with, but we also reaffirm a commitment to the same values.4
Certainly, gossip can unite a social group. But what about the people being excluded from these social groups? How does gossip affect them? Philosophy professor and epistemology researcher Casey Rebecca Johnson states: “Gossip is not only psychologically beneficial, it is also epistemically important. When we are excluded from gossiping groups, we are epistemically disadvantaged.”5 Meaning that because gossip is an important method of obtaining knowledge, being excluded from gossip circles might make it more difficult for us to receive certain information. An example of this can be found in a school environment. If a student is excluded from social gatherings, they are also excluded from potentially gaining course-related information that would be shared through gossip. Not only does this ostracize the student in question, but it also makes them a potential target of that gossip as well.
Another point worth mentioning is the gendering of gossip. Karen Adkins, the author of “Gossip, Epistemology, and Power: Knowledge Underground” says in said work that even though gossip has a long-standing association with women, contemporary gossip is generally othered. “[Gossip] is what is done by gossipy gay men, working class people or people of color” she states.6 Adkins suggests that the root of this association of gossip and women dates all the way back to Homeric Greece, when seductive talk of women was intertwined with gossip. Another argument she makes is that these othered communities, the ones who traditionally do not have access to power often resort to non-traditional ways of gaining information that often isn’t verified, or in other words, gossip. This gossip, unlike our previous examples, serves the purpose of protection and warning.
Now that we’ve learned what good and what bad gossip can do, how can we move forward? Adkins stresses: “Gossip isn’t merely about juicy stories being told to the eager, passive recipients. Rather, it is often a dialogic process in which beliefs and interpretations are constructed through information-sharing.”7 What this means is that when we gossip, we’re not only sharing information, but we’re also having a conversation. Due to its intimate nature, gossip, more so than any other form of communication, requires us to listen more so than talk. Perhaps if we paid closer attention to these conversations and listened to these gossips with compassion rather than a thirst for rumor-filled stories, we could recognize gossip as a genuinely valuable and positive way of getting information. Maybe then gossiping wouldn’t be just a bad habit, but rather a signal of serious and intimate relationships.
1 “Gossip,” in Dictionary.com
2 “Gossip,” in Cambridge Dictionary
3 “Gossip,” in Etymonline.com
4 Adam Aleksić, “Gossip as a Bonding Ritual”
5 Casey R. Johnson, “If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say, Come Sit by Me: Gossip as Epistemic Good and Evil,” page 305
6 Karen Adkins, “Mean Girls: The Gendering of Gossip” in Gossip, Epistemology & Power: Knowledge Underground, page 39
7 Karen Adkins, “How to Gossip” in Gossip, Epistemology & Power: Knowledge Underground, page 247